A horrible outfit, a bad bout of acne, an awkward presentation in front of a room full of classmates, or extra weight hanging over the waist of your jeans... whatever it is, we have all been on the receiving end of cruel and hurtful words. Sometimes they're subtle. The degradation those words bring comes at you in little waves that often go unnoticed until you're back at home and thinking to yourself. And other times, words can cut through you like a knife when a couple of mean girls decide to make an example of you in the locker room at school or spread hurtful rumors about you behind your back. The bottom line is, no one likes to be on the receiving end of that kind of meanness. And yet, I'm willing to bet we've all dealt a few harmful blows of our own anyway.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved my grandmother... I mean, it's natural. But in the last year since moving home, I have come to know a different side of her, a more hurtful and cynical side that tends to rear its ugly head whenever she feels neglected or spiteful. Most of it I have chalked up to the fact that she is in fact 88 years old and that's just the way she is. But after years of refuting her off-handed remarks about my looking a little hefty or my hair actually being naturally black instead of blonde (note: that's definitely false) with a quick quip here and there, I think I forgot one very important thing: to defend myself against her is not a justification to put someone else down.
This weekend, after returning from an afternoon at the sandbar with friends, I was quick to point out (in my not so sober state) that there were people staying a few doors down who were a lot worse off in the scale department than me. During my brief but cutting rant I mistakenly managed to forget that I have a family member struggling with much more serious weight issues than my own. And in that infuriating way that word vomit tends to happen, I sat there reeling when I realized just how hurtful I had been.
It's easy to forget that while I sit here fretting about the bit of pinchable skin around my waist or a stubborn few dimples on the backs of my thighs that refuse to go away, there are people in the world fighting a very difficult and more severe battle with weight. That's not to say that my struggle to keep weight off is not justified in its own right, but it does mean that when it comes to the ways of the world, I don't get to point a finger at someone else in the hopes of turning the spotlight away from myself.
I'm all for healthy living and I think it's important for everyone to try their hardest to stay fit and eat well. But I also recognize that there are other factors at play that make fitting into this one-size-fits-all mold the world expects us to fall into very difficult. So my point is, when you find yourself insecure about something in your life, don't assume that because there are people in the world struggling more than you that it's okay to use them to feel better about yourself.
Better yet, stick to the age-old saying: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
For as long as I can remember, I have loved my grandmother... I mean, it's natural. But in the last year since moving home, I have come to know a different side of her, a more hurtful and cynical side that tends to rear its ugly head whenever she feels neglected or spiteful. Most of it I have chalked up to the fact that she is in fact 88 years old and that's just the way she is. But after years of refuting her off-handed remarks about my looking a little hefty or my hair actually being naturally black instead of blonde (note: that's definitely false) with a quick quip here and there, I think I forgot one very important thing: to defend myself against her is not a justification to put someone else down.
This weekend, after returning from an afternoon at the sandbar with friends, I was quick to point out (in my not so sober state) that there were people staying a few doors down who were a lot worse off in the scale department than me. During my brief but cutting rant I mistakenly managed to forget that I have a family member struggling with much more serious weight issues than my own. And in that infuriating way that word vomit tends to happen, I sat there reeling when I realized just how hurtful I had been.
It's easy to forget that while I sit here fretting about the bit of pinchable skin around my waist or a stubborn few dimples on the backs of my thighs that refuse to go away, there are people in the world fighting a very difficult and more severe battle with weight. That's not to say that my struggle to keep weight off is not justified in its own right, but it does mean that when it comes to the ways of the world, I don't get to point a finger at someone else in the hopes of turning the spotlight away from myself.
I'm all for healthy living and I think it's important for everyone to try their hardest to stay fit and eat well. But I also recognize that there are other factors at play that make fitting into this one-size-fits-all mold the world expects us to fall into very difficult. So my point is, when you find yourself insecure about something in your life, don't assume that because there are people in the world struggling more than you that it's okay to use them to feel better about yourself.
Better yet, stick to the age-old saying: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.
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