A few weeks ago, my friend Sally introduced me to a website called thoughtcatalog.com. It's essentially a website completely made up of blog posts from a group of writers. They write about anything and everything, from the top 5 hottest murderers to whether or not it's possible to actually be friends with benefits. It's all pretty fascinating stuff to ponder, so in your free time, you should definitely check it out.
But today, I came across a post entitled "An Obituary For Chilvalry." It was so cleverly written and highlighted all the parts of chivalry that have given the word it's meaning over the years... From participating in duels for the heart of a lady love to opening the car door for your girl on date night. So it got me to thinking about this whole idea of chivalry. The author obviously thinks it's dead. I mean, hello... It's an obituary. But was it just written by someone whose had one too many run-ins with a rude boy with a lack of manners? Or, in this day and age of automatic doors, texting instead of calling, and "girl power", has chivalry actually breathed it's final breath?
I for one, sure as hell hope not. There is a reason that I'm a sucker for rom-coms (usually featuring Ryan Reynolds) and predictable yet enthralling novels in which girl meets boy, boy falls for girl, they find out they're descendants of royalty or live happily ever after while riding off into the sunset on horseback. Okay... I'm kidding. I'm not always the biggest fan of those painfully predictable tales, namely those with the horse and the sunset, but I will forever be the girl that's a sucker for happy endings. That's just the way it is. So for the sake of all that is near and dear to my imaginary Mr. Perfect, I reeeeally hope chivalry is NOT dead.
A few weeks back, my dad and I went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings on a Sunday night. As we were walking in, this guy about my age threw the door wide open, walking through and texting on his phone while his girlfriend followed behind him, dodging the swinging door and juggling her purse, her keys AND a to-go box. Really? There are just some things that a boy should always do. Holding the door is one of them. (It should also be noted that you should hold the door for anyone, but that's beside my point.)
Conversely, I went out to dinner a month or so ago with a guy who actually caught me off guard with his good manners. He picked me up, opened the car door for me every time I got in, walked on the sidewalk closest to traffic (which for the record, I didn't even know was one of those "chivalry rules" until then) AND walked me to my door at the end of the night. It was such a pleasant surprise. I think the last time a guy opened the car door for me was back in high school when I was in my "I don't really know what it means to go on a date but don't you go getting all serious on me by opening my door...I can do it myself" phase.
It really got me thinking about the fact that not only should more guys do things like that for a girl, but girls should EXPECT it more. Don't get me wrong... I'm all for women's rights and all that jazz. But I don't think you should have to choose when it comes to these things. Just because we text instead of call, ride in cars instead of carriages and women can have powerful jobs the way men do doesn't mean that some of the little things should be lost in the name of progress. We live in a world where "talking" has replaced the term "dating," drunken hookups dominate the college and post-college scene and cheating on a significant other is about as common as the common cold. It's lame. Opening the door for your girl is still cool. Offering to pay on the first date is a sweet gesture, and buying a girl flowers because you know they're her favorite will still win you major points. Chivalry, at times, may be a forgotten concept, but I think that when it really counts, chivalry never goes of style.
But today, I came across a post entitled "An Obituary For Chilvalry." It was so cleverly written and highlighted all the parts of chivalry that have given the word it's meaning over the years... From participating in duels for the heart of a lady love to opening the car door for your girl on date night. So it got me to thinking about this whole idea of chivalry. The author obviously thinks it's dead. I mean, hello... It's an obituary. But was it just written by someone whose had one too many run-ins with a rude boy with a lack of manners? Or, in this day and age of automatic doors, texting instead of calling, and "girl power", has chivalry actually breathed it's final breath?
A few weeks back, my dad and I went to dinner at Buffalo Wild Wings on a Sunday night. As we were walking in, this guy about my age threw the door wide open, walking through and texting on his phone while his girlfriend followed behind him, dodging the swinging door and juggling her purse, her keys AND a to-go box. Really? There are just some things that a boy should always do. Holding the door is one of them. (It should also be noted that you should hold the door for anyone, but that's beside my point.)
Conversely, I went out to dinner a month or so ago with a guy who actually caught me off guard with his good manners. He picked me up, opened the car door for me every time I got in, walked on the sidewalk closest to traffic (which for the record, I didn't even know was one of those "chivalry rules" until then) AND walked me to my door at the end of the night. It was such a pleasant surprise. I think the last time a guy opened the car door for me was back in high school when I was in my "I don't really know what it means to go on a date but don't you go getting all serious on me by opening my door...I can do it myself" phase.
It really got me thinking about the fact that not only should more guys do things like that for a girl, but girls should EXPECT it more. Don't get me wrong... I'm all for women's rights and all that jazz. But I don't think you should have to choose when it comes to these things. Just because we text instead of call, ride in cars instead of carriages and women can have powerful jobs the way men do doesn't mean that some of the little things should be lost in the name of progress. We live in a world where "talking" has replaced the term "dating," drunken hookups dominate the college and post-college scene and cheating on a significant other is about as common as the common cold. It's lame. Opening the door for your girl is still cool. Offering to pay on the first date is a sweet gesture, and buying a girl flowers because you know they're her favorite will still win you major points. Chivalry, at times, may be a forgotten concept, but I think that when it really counts, chivalry never goes of style.
I too, the eternal optimist, don't think chivalry is dead. And I hope it never dies. Actually, I don't think it can die due to the fact that there are men out there that keep up the little traditions an nuances of opening doors, giving coats, etc. Plus I've lived in the south for five years now and down there it's just called good manners. But let Lego back to said guys. Be it their immpecable upbringing by their fathers and male role models or the fact that they too have seen and possibly even enjoyed, though would never admit, the aforementioned Rom-coms asking themselves even swearing they too will have Ryan Reynolds abs. All the while they are taking mental notes of chivalrous acts. These guys continue to act in such a way that other guys are inclined to follow their lead given a girls positive reaction. It's a lOvely vicious cycle if you ask me. But it's not a one way street. I fully intend to make awesome meals, fold laundry, stroak his ego, and have all the dishes washed by nights end whe
ReplyDeleteI find my chivalrous counterpart. It's just the way I like to think things work.
I agree! It's totally a two-way street. Girls need to do nice things for guys just as often! It's a give-and-take kind of thing.
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