As an end-of-August baby, my birthday always falls right in that weird in-between period when it's no longer summer but fall has yet to settle in. As far as I can remember, I think the only birthday that I genuinely wasn't a big fan of was birthday 19. Don't ask me why. I just remember thinking turning 19 was the most anti-climactic thing ever. Sooo now here I am. Almost staring 24 in the face.
I have never and do not intend on ever being one of those people who dreads getting older. Sure, I'll joke about it, but I like to think I've got a pretty great example of what getting older looks like thanks to my mom. (On her 51st birthday earlier this year, I sent her a text asking how fifty-one felt. "It feels even more fantastic than 50!" is what I got in reply.) But I will admit that saying "twenty four" out loud feels a little weird. I LOVE 23. My twenty-third year brought a lot of changes, surprises, challenges and fun. I completed an entire trip around the sun living in the same place, realized I was good at my job and ran with it. I've met fantastic new people. I had brown hair... for a little while at least. I moved out of my parents house, leased a car. I traveled... a lot. To Poland in 3 degree weather, Las Vegas, San Diego, Washington D.C. and the Turks & Caicos. Twenty-three was fantastic.
I remember back when I was starting my freshman year at Brebeuf. The seniors seemed SO old it was almost terrifying to walk down the same hallway as they did. They were taller and smarter and seemed so sure of themselves. And then I was a senior in high school myself. There was absolutely nothing intimidating about us at all. We were never as old or experienced or sure of ourselves as I swore those kids from the class of 2003 seemed when I started out.
The same goes for birthdays. I feel like there's some unwritten rule that things are supposed to happen in a particular order. And yet with each birthday that comes and goes I always think to myself about the things I could have sworn would be different by the time 365 more days passed me by. You know? It's like I have this idea of what my life is supposed to look like. Of how things are supposed to go. And then all of a sudden it's August again and I wonder how so many days managed to go by and these things still haven't happened or changed. I think what freaks me out a little bit about turning 24 is that I'm really not where I thought I'd be. But if you asked me to tell you exactly where "there" is, I couldn't tell you. But 24 is pretty close to 25, and in my mind, 25 is the post-high school version of that senior class from 2003. Which makes me think.... where in the world has all this time gone? And who is putting me in charge of being 24? I don't feel nearly mature enough for that number.
I remember back when I was starting my freshman year at Brebeuf. The seniors seemed SO old it was almost terrifying to walk down the same hallway as they did. They were taller and smarter and seemed so sure of themselves. And then I was a senior in high school myself. There was absolutely nothing intimidating about us at all. We were never as old or experienced or sure of ourselves as I swore those kids from the class of 2003 seemed when I started out.
The same goes for birthdays. I feel like there's some unwritten rule that things are supposed to happen in a particular order. And yet with each birthday that comes and goes I always think to myself about the things I could have sworn would be different by the time 365 more days passed me by. You know? It's like I have this idea of what my life is supposed to look like. Of how things are supposed to go. And then all of a sudden it's August again and I wonder how so many days managed to go by and these things still haven't happened or changed. I think what freaks me out a little bit about turning 24 is that I'm really not where I thought I'd be. But if you asked me to tell you exactly where "there" is, I couldn't tell you. But 24 is pretty close to 25, and in my mind, 25 is the post-high school version of that senior class from 2003. Which makes me think.... where in the world has all this time gone? And who is putting me in charge of being 24? I don't feel nearly mature enough for that number.
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