The truth about being a doormat is complicated. It's a sobering realization that hits you over the head time and time again when you realize that, once again, you've managed to let someone walk all over you. When this happens, you curse at yourself under your breath because you swore that last time was the LAST time you were going to hold your tongue when someone was mean to you or did something that was not okay... regardless of the "Oh don't worry about it, it's fine" that you accidentally uttered. The truth about being a doormat is that no matter how much progress you've made when it comes to sticking up for yourself, there is a very blurry line that separates the should-have-said's from the it's-okay-you-held-your-tongue's. The truth about being a doormat... is that it never gets less infuriating. You always look forward to the next time when you'll be more prepared to say what you wanted to say, only to realize that such a moment rarely ever comes around again.
The truth is: I am a doormat. At least I am some of the time. It's probably one of my most infuriating qualities. It's something I'm constantly working to improve. Sure, I've made a lot of progress when it comes to making decisions that are my own, but I've still got a long way to go. I'm constantly trying to remind myself that it's actually okay to say exactly what you think sometimes. If someone is offended by it, so be it. But what I have always struggled with is knowing WHEN that is. When is it okay to say what you're thinking when someone slings an unneccesary insult your way? When is it appropriate to bite your tongue and remind yourself that this jerk isn't worth your breath? I personally have always erred on the side of caution and gone with the latter. It's better to bite your tongue and hope he gets what he deserves down the road than to open your mouth and make someone else uncomfortable.... Right?
Wrong. Because then you'd find yourself in the position I'm in now: Fuming, three days later, wishing I would have said what I had wanted to say instead of worrying about making the other people around me uncomfortable. Wishing I would have had the guts to stick up for myself and throw it right back.
The truth about being a doormat is that it's a constant struggle. Trying to find your own voice. Trying to stand up for your own actions and opinions when someone else finds pleasure in bringing you down. But what I have found is that the most important thing is having faith in your own convictions and refusing to back down when a bully comes along and does his best to make you feel inferior. It's a process. You live and you learn and you chide yourself for backing down and resolve to be better the next time. And most importantly, you remove such negative people from your life and choose to only surround yourself with the positive ones. After all...Who needs jerks around anyway?
The truth is: I am a doormat. At least I am some of the time. It's probably one of my most infuriating qualities. It's something I'm constantly working to improve. Sure, I've made a lot of progress when it comes to making decisions that are my own, but I've still got a long way to go. I'm constantly trying to remind myself that it's actually okay to say exactly what you think sometimes. If someone is offended by it, so be it. But what I have always struggled with is knowing WHEN that is. When is it okay to say what you're thinking when someone slings an unneccesary insult your way? When is it appropriate to bite your tongue and remind yourself that this jerk isn't worth your breath? I personally have always erred on the side of caution and gone with the latter. It's better to bite your tongue and hope he gets what he deserves down the road than to open your mouth and make someone else uncomfortable.... Right?
Wrong. Because then you'd find yourself in the position I'm in now: Fuming, three days later, wishing I would have said what I had wanted to say instead of worrying about making the other people around me uncomfortable. Wishing I would have had the guts to stick up for myself and throw it right back.
The truth about being a doormat is that it's a constant struggle. Trying to find your own voice. Trying to stand up for your own actions and opinions when someone else finds pleasure in bringing you down. But what I have found is that the most important thing is having faith in your own convictions and refusing to back down when a bully comes along and does his best to make you feel inferior. It's a process. You live and you learn and you chide yourself for backing down and resolve to be better the next time. And most importantly, you remove such negative people from your life and choose to only surround yourself with the positive ones. After all...Who needs jerks around anyway?
Well I'm the exact opposite ... I ALWAYS say exactly what I think. You're right ... no one needs jerks & besides, people treat you the way you LET them treat you. If you demand respect, you'll get it. Remember that :)
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