You guys!! I know it's been a while, but wow. Today I officially turned 28, and I have to tell you that I'm laying here in bed as the day comes to a close and I'm in awe. Birthdays really do have a way of making you feel like the most special person on the planet, you know? People reach out to you in so many ways and so many words and I kept finding myself thinking "Wow. Have birthdays always felt this awesome? This is cool!" It just really makes your heart swell knowing that you've managed to make enough of an impact on some souls along the way that they'd care to reach out and wish you well.
First and foremost, I can't believe I'm TWENTY EIGHT. Not in that "Ugh. I can't believe I'm only two years away from 30... I'm so effing OLD" way. I just mean that I always thought of 28 year-olds as adults... Like, functioning adults out in the world, making their mark, shaking things up, and also managing to do things like successfully maintaining a budget and remembering to get their cars washed on a regular basis. A few years ago, I was crying on my parents couch about turning 25 because it was just sooo old and I was sooo not where I thought I'd be by the time I hit that point in my life. And now? I laugh. I couldn't be more excited about the possibilities of this next year: Where I'll go. Who I'll meet. What I'll do and the things I'll learn along the way. I wish I had had this perspective three years ago on the brink of 25, but I guess there's a reason they say you get wiser as you age.
I was excited about 27... The way I saw it, there was really nowhere to go but up from 26, and up it went. Twenty-seven was a year of growth. It was a year of self-discovery, healing, wonderful friendships, new people, a fulfilling relationship, travel (did I mention that the aforementioned relationship was a long distance one?)... you name it. My 27th trip around the sun was all of those things. So imagine my surprise, as I sit here officially at the start of 28, feeling even more excited about what this next year will bring than the one that came before.
Life has just been so big lately. I can't really think of another way to say it, so I'm just going with that: life has been big. I can't really remember a time before now, at least not an extended period of time, where I've felt a frequent need to pinch myself. Life is GOOD. I mean, really really good. I feel fulfilled by my job, I love my apartment, I've got a great group of friends, a medicated (see: significantly more tolerable) dog, a healthy family, and an incredible boyfriend who, after more than a year, continues to make me happier than I've ever been. It seems so silly to try to write it down because I truly don't feel like words can do any of it justice. That is how full and good and big life has been.
Admittedly, I've also felt a little guilty feeling so high today because as wonderful as life has been, recently it has also felt heavy. Exactly a week ago, one of my best friends lost her baby at only 18 weeks gestation, and it has truly been the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. My heart has broken time and time again in the last seven days for my friend and her husband and their tiny little 3.1 oz baby girl they had to deliver but never got to meet.
Twenty-seven taught me hard lessons in the same way it delivered good ones. I'd change the loss of that baby in a heartbeat if I could, but I've found myself feeling a little bit grateful for lessons like that as well. It has shown me so much about life and faith and friendship. Life is fragile and it's precious. It's beautiful in even the most heartbreaking ways. But it has been kind of cool to think about how much you learn as each year passes, you know? Each year, we experience heartache- sometimes heartbreak- countless acts of love, friendship and kindness and tests of those things too. We never really come away from any of it exactly how we were before. But I think that's the point, you know? Life is hard and then sometimes it isn't. The peaks can be incredibly high and the lows can sometimes feel like they're unbearable... But I find myself grateful for all of it just the same. After all, we wouldn't truly be able to appreciate joy if it weren't for having felt pain.
SO here's to year 28... Another 365 days to laugh and learn and cry and love and experience every possible thing I can. It really does go by so fast.
First and foremost, I can't believe I'm TWENTY EIGHT. Not in that "Ugh. I can't believe I'm only two years away from 30... I'm so effing OLD" way. I just mean that I always thought of 28 year-olds as adults... Like, functioning adults out in the world, making their mark, shaking things up, and also managing to do things like successfully maintaining a budget and remembering to get their cars washed on a regular basis. A few years ago, I was crying on my parents couch about turning 25 because it was just sooo old and I was sooo not where I thought I'd be by the time I hit that point in my life. And now? I laugh. I couldn't be more excited about the possibilities of this next year: Where I'll go. Who I'll meet. What I'll do and the things I'll learn along the way. I wish I had had this perspective three years ago on the brink of 25, but I guess there's a reason they say you get wiser as you age.
I was excited about 27... The way I saw it, there was really nowhere to go but up from 26, and up it went. Twenty-seven was a year of growth. It was a year of self-discovery, healing, wonderful friendships, new people, a fulfilling relationship, travel (did I mention that the aforementioned relationship was a long distance one?)... you name it. My 27th trip around the sun was all of those things. So imagine my surprise, as I sit here officially at the start of 28, feeling even more excited about what this next year will bring than the one that came before.
Life has just been so big lately. I can't really think of another way to say it, so I'm just going with that: life has been big. I can't really remember a time before now, at least not an extended period of time, where I've felt a frequent need to pinch myself. Life is GOOD. I mean, really really good. I feel fulfilled by my job, I love my apartment, I've got a great group of friends, a medicated (see: significantly more tolerable) dog, a healthy family, and an incredible boyfriend who, after more than a year, continues to make me happier than I've ever been. It seems so silly to try to write it down because I truly don't feel like words can do any of it justice. That is how full and good and big life has been.
Admittedly, I've also felt a little guilty feeling so high today because as wonderful as life has been, recently it has also felt heavy. Exactly a week ago, one of my best friends lost her baby at only 18 weeks gestation, and it has truly been the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. My heart has broken time and time again in the last seven days for my friend and her husband and their tiny little 3.1 oz baby girl they had to deliver but never got to meet.
Twenty-seven taught me hard lessons in the same way it delivered good ones. I'd change the loss of that baby in a heartbeat if I could, but I've found myself feeling a little bit grateful for lessons like that as well. It has shown me so much about life and faith and friendship. Life is fragile and it's precious. It's beautiful in even the most heartbreaking ways. But it has been kind of cool to think about how much you learn as each year passes, you know? Each year, we experience heartache- sometimes heartbreak- countless acts of love, friendship and kindness and tests of those things too. We never really come away from any of it exactly how we were before. But I think that's the point, you know? Life is hard and then sometimes it isn't. The peaks can be incredibly high and the lows can sometimes feel like they're unbearable... But I find myself grateful for all of it just the same. After all, we wouldn't truly be able to appreciate joy if it weren't for having felt pain.
SO here's to year 28... Another 365 days to laugh and learn and cry and love and experience every possible thing I can. It really does go by so fast.
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