I'm a big fan of lists. I think they're really great when it comes to putting things into perspective, especially now that it's 2014 and there are things like blogs and ThoughtCatalog.com and BuzzFeed. Lists are good. Some of them are hilarious. Some of them enlightening. I don't know about the rest of you, but all of these "Twenty Things To Do Before You're Thirty" and "10 Things You Should Stop Telling Yourself" and "5 Reasons To Still Believe In Love" and "8 Places To See On A Roadtrip from Coast to Coast" seem to happen across my computer screen all the time. That's a lot of lists. Nevertheless, they're great to read through. You've got blogs telling us how to live and what to think and why it's perfectly okay to not be where you thought you'd be back before real life happened to you.
In a lot of ways, I get it. We have grown up with an idea of what our lives are supposed to look like in our 20's, and all of a sudden, now that we're here, we realize that it isn't quite matching up to what we thought it would. I'd be lying if I told you I haven't worried about it myself. Most of us didn't meet our forever person back in high school. I mean, let's be real. A lot of us still have no idea who that forever person will be. The great thing about this part in our lives? IT'S OKAY NOT TO KNOW.
Some of us don't want to be married with two kids, or purchase a home, or be with just one person for the rest of forever yet. Some of us want to drop everything at the drop of a dime and jet off to somewhere exciting, maybe try a new adventure for a while. Maybe you want to go out to bars on a weekend night and flirt with somebody mysterious. Maybe give him your number. Maybe even have a sleepover or two. But you know what's just as bad as the people telling you there's something wrong with you because you're 26 and still single? The people telling you that if you aren't those things I just mentioned... if you are dating, or already married, or actively hoping for that to happen in your life sometime soon, that you've done it wrong too.
You're not supposed to do anything. If you wait until you're 30, 40 even, to start thinking about settling down? More power to you. Whoever said taking time for self-discovery is overrated was wrong. If you want to spend your 20's going on awkward first dates and having one night stands and doing whatever you want whenever you want because no one can tell you not to, then have at it my friends. But if you do happen to have fallen madly in love by 25, or even if that's just something you'd like to happen in your life before 30? That's great too.
The point is, you can read as many lists as you want but they're just the same as the stereotypes you grew up thinking you had to fulfill. I think if we stopped trying to justify who we are by comparing it to what someone else isn't, we'd all be a heck of a lot happier. Bottom line: make your life what YOU want it to be. If you don't want to settle down? Don't. If you do? Awesome. The main thing is not to rush. And not to let anyone make you feel like you're doing it wrong.
In a lot of ways, I get it. We have grown up with an idea of what our lives are supposed to look like in our 20's, and all of a sudden, now that we're here, we realize that it isn't quite matching up to what we thought it would. I'd be lying if I told you I haven't worried about it myself. Most of us didn't meet our forever person back in high school. I mean, let's be real. A lot of us still have no idea who that forever person will be. The great thing about this part in our lives? IT'S OKAY NOT TO KNOW.
Some of us don't want to be married with two kids, or purchase a home, or be with just one person for the rest of forever yet. Some of us want to drop everything at the drop of a dime and jet off to somewhere exciting, maybe try a new adventure for a while. Maybe you want to go out to bars on a weekend night and flirt with somebody mysterious. Maybe give him your number. Maybe even have a sleepover or two. But you know what's just as bad as the people telling you there's something wrong with you because you're 26 and still single? The people telling you that if you aren't those things I just mentioned... if you are dating, or already married, or actively hoping for that to happen in your life sometime soon, that you've done it wrong too.
You're not supposed to do anything. If you wait until you're 30, 40 even, to start thinking about settling down? More power to you. Whoever said taking time for self-discovery is overrated was wrong. If you want to spend your 20's going on awkward first dates and having one night stands and doing whatever you want whenever you want because no one can tell you not to, then have at it my friends. But if you do happen to have fallen madly in love by 25, or even if that's just something you'd like to happen in your life before 30? That's great too.
The point is, you can read as many lists as you want but they're just the same as the stereotypes you grew up thinking you had to fulfill. I think if we stopped trying to justify who we are by comparing it to what someone else isn't, we'd all be a heck of a lot happier. Bottom line: make your life what YOU want it to be. If you don't want to settle down? Don't. If you do? Awesome. The main thing is not to rush. And not to let anyone make you feel like you're doing it wrong.
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